After playing around with all those distros in VMWare Player, I’ve decided on Linux Mint. It’s interface is familiar enough for Windows users, is similar to Ubuntu under the hood, and has a large user-base.
So far, the only thing I haven’t got to work is Minecraft, which I’m attributing to it running in a VM. There are plenty of people who have it working on real machines, so I’m not too concerned.
EDIT: It runs REALLY hot. Don’t know if I can keep it around.